The chance of talking with people from all over the world is unique and unforgettable. I’ll never forget both Hacene and Andreea, Algerian guy and Romanian girl; my best friends, who I keep in touch through Skype.

As well those I met at SOAS, Selfridges and Paperchase. At SOAS, Hirsi, a Danish Somali; Selfridges, Annika, Colombian, and Nésia, Portuguese (more British than Portuguese); Paperchase, Karen and Pete, both British, even though Karen is as mixed heritage.

From London I also bring images of great moments: the Pride Parades where I met nice people, the beautiful gardens where I enjoyed running and walking; the snow in the winter, dangerous but beautiful, with some snowball fights with Andreea; My Little Manhattan, Canary Wharf, with its high banking buildings; the Thames Path, great for my sports; my volunteering experiences, unforgettable.

Now, Lisbon and more experiences. I miss it a lot; my family, friends, boyfriend, the sun, good weather, white buildings, brightness of the city.

And now, new challenges; somewhere where I can use what I’ve developed during these past two years.

Not many aims, at least for now. First, find a job, any kind of job. After, volunteering experiences. Then, learn Arab.

The future, who knows! Maybe here, maybe London, maybe anywhere in the world.

London opened me to the world!

Half is read, and other half is left. From the first half read, I can state I’m astonished by the amazing imagination and criativity of what could have been, or not, not simply a version of Cain’s life, but of Adam and Eve and a ‘boring’ paradise. A detailed and sharpened group of words, with an amazing sarcasm, and above all with some details about the way us, the reader,  may or may not make sense of and how we make it.

I was never a follower of Saramago’s writings; I tried to read the first pages and always end up seeing myself thinking of something else. But this book is something else!

I know my interest is also the subject itself, since religion is for me a matter of permanent questioning. Hacene (aka Moussa) can prove it; he has so much patience with me when we have our famous discussions about religion (he is Muslim and, even though I don’t see him as extremist, he is doubtful a fervours believer and follower).

Here, one more issue that will be target of an amazing conversation between us, and will end up in laughs, because by the time I finish it I will have him convinced to read it in English (I’ve already ordered it through Amazon.co.uk).

I know we will have subject of discussion for some of our long nights and I’ll have a lot fun.

Acabei de o receber ontem, via correio e enviado pela minha mami, o Caim, de José Saramago.

Já vai lido metade e metade está por ler. Da metade lida, posso afirmar, estou espantada pela maravilhosa imaginação e criação do que poderia ter sido, ou não, não só uma versão da vida de Caim, como também a de Adão e Eva e de um ‘pasmaceiro’ paraíso. Uma pormenorizada descrição, com um espantoso sarcasmo, e acima de tudo com pequenos detalhes sobre o que nós, o leitor, poderemos ou não interpetar e como o interpretamos.

Nunca apreciei a escrita do Saramago, pois tentava ler e a meio das primeiras páginas vi-me completamente a pensar em outra coisa qualquer. Mas esta obra, é obra!

Sei também que o meu interesse está no assunto em si, pois a religião é para mim foco de permanente questionamento. Que o diga o Hacene (aka Moussa), que me atura nas nossas famosas discussões sobre religião (ele é muçulmano e, muito embora não extremista, aos meus olhos, é sem dúvida um ferveroso crente).

Eis mais um assunto que vai dar azo a um excelente diálogo entre os dois e que vai acabar em risota, pois quando acabar de o ler, já o terei convencido a ler o mesmo in English (já está encomendado através da Amazon.co.uk).

Sei que vamos ter conversa para algumas das nossas noites e que me vou divertir bastante.

Today, an amazing first page:

(Read online)

I’m astonished with the way Men’s Movements are growing. In the 60s and 70s western societies saw the growing of feminists movements and activism, and now, in the second decade of the 21th Century I guess we will watch the rise of men’s movements and activism against their inequalities.

Their space is being threatened by women, which are still less payed compared to men who have the same role, have less access to higher roles in business and in other institutions such as the military, have lower access or limitations in competitive sports (in 2012 Women’s boxing will be, for the first time, included in the Olympic Games, but with limitations in the number of athletes and rounds), have a higher rate as victims of domestic violence and rape, and so on.

Call me ‘obnoxious bigot’ feminist, call me radical, whatever, but I think Tory MP Dominic Raab must live in another dimension or maybe just came back from a possible future, where women rule over men. All evidences (stats and studies in Social Sciences)  in western societies (and I’m only talking about the western societies) points to higher inequalities of women, and there’s still men who believe in their social victimization. It would be possible, seeing and accepting men as victims, if we were living in that ‘possible future’, but this is the present, and the ‘reality’ is very different.

Is he afraid of loosing what he imagines as being is ‘masculinity’?

Or,

Is he afraid of a possible ‘hegemonic femininity’?

Again my readings led me to transgendering in militarism, this time through the notion of the body.

I remembered my essays about my boxing experience; my body was a category of differentiation. Because my body differences acquired significance within the world was in (boxing), I self was seen as unfit (or less fit) to practice such sport.

I started questioning:

What is the notion of body in the military?  What significance the body carries to allow a definition of who does or doesn’t fit in the armed forces? Does this significance have been changing through time and space? How relevant is the women and transsexuals’ body, to whom western society attributes a different significance, to their acceptance in the armed forces? And so on.

I think the notion of the body will be a good starting point to analyse the gendered world of militarism.

Today I questioned if I should wake up early today to vote, because here (Portuguese Council) we can vote today and tomorrow; but I end up engage in ‘what for wake up early to vote in whom I’m not gonna vote?!’. It’s not worth it, wake early to vote, since my vote is the vote of who doesn’t feel like voting but votes because thinks its a right and a duty; but because doesn’t fell like voting, will vote white. So, why wake up early? Tomorrow will have to be, but not early.

I’ve been focusing my studies on Gender Studies versus Violence, since I want to write about the relationship of women and militarism, which is institutionally described as masculine and patriarchal.

The more I read on Gender, more I realize how language is important and how discourses shape the way we are constructed and reproduce our world. All I’ve read until now, either by feminists or other theorists, seems to always fall on the same reductionist categorization of the social human being: first, gender; secondly, color of skin, most of times ’race’; third, sexuality; last, social class; even though this last two are fluid and change their position.

I’m using as introductory to Gender Studies: Richardson, Diane, Robinson, Victoria (eds) (2008)Introducing Gender and Women’s Studies, 3rd Ed, Palgrave MacMillan: New York, which is an attempt to demonstrate the development of gender studies without taking sides, but is for me a very feminist approach to gender. In all chapters, which are small articles written by different authors, I always find written: ’white, male, heterosexual, middle class’; to me a radical feminist and western approach of social categories.

After reading, not just this book but also other articles online and from books (through SOAS Library), I’ve been realizing that my own discourse falls in this reductionist categorization, and I’ve accepted, not without criticizing it, that my view of the social world is constructed in this way. Of course, I also reproduce it through my discourse; even thought I recognize its reductionism, I find hard to overpass it.

Foucault was right: discourse constructs the topic, defines and produces the objects of our knowledge, and since knowledge is connected to power, it assumes the authority of ’the truth’ and has the power to make itself true.

But discourse is fluid, and language, the base of discourse, is also a living thing, therefore discourses can change…

My study favourite subject – gender, is always influenced by my gender, because I don’t believe in objectivity and it sucks! All I write involves a bit about myself, about the way I see gender and the way I myself gender the world.

Hum… interesting for future analyses.

Country

Prime Minister or President

Huge list, hem? Optical perspective, since presently only 18 women are President or PM all over the world, and all the other known rulers are men.

Women’s role in politics is growing, but still far from equality. Possible? Don’t know… maybe one day, when institutions change. But first there’s the need of changing institutions and, therefore, discourses; a change that has to be done by all genders (men, women, lesbians, gays, transgenders, and so on).

As I said before, maybe one day… changing discourses is not the same as changing sweater everyday; there are two factors consider: the way cultures are organized and the way political processes occur; of course, both are related and also involve other categories such as ethnicity and social class.

Definitely equality will not happen during my lifetime, but I’ll keep on struggling with my favourite ‘weapon’: my own discourse through my writings.

I wonder how many people in these countries which to become accepted as they feel inside them; gays, lesbians, transsexuals having their identities recognized and having the same legal rights as any other ‘coherent gender/sex’ (women as female, and men as male) and heterosexual person.

I know it’s a hard demanding, since in Western (and non-conflict) countries) this is still not a stable issue. We (I say ‘We’ because I identify myself as Western) still have huge acceptance problems and legal issues unsolved, such as the approval of transsexual surgery by the National Health Systems as an important health matter, and not as a luxury surgery with a frivolous character, which most transsexuals from a poor social class can’t afford. ISN’T THIS ALSO VIOLENCE? To me it is.

So, after reading on gender and violence I end up turning my eyes to the Western context, especially on my favourite matter: militarism.

Do Western armed forces consider transsexuals? Many are the European Union countries that accept gays, lesbians and bisexuals  in their armed forces (same in some countries in the American and Asian Continents), since their laws do not allow gender discrimination, but how many transsexuals have been accepted?

As far as I was able to read only Canada, UK, Spain, Czech Republic, Australia and Thailand have legally accepted them. On US transgender situation read http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/01/11/transgender-vets-want-military-access/.

In the country where I now live transsexuals can apply to armed forces and be accepted, but in the country where I was born, and lived 34 years of my life, even the acceptance of changing a name in the Civil Registry is an issue hard to have a simple solution. So, I wonder how many transsexuals are there in Portuguese Armed Forces? Are they registered as gays or lesbians? And with what name?

All these question had taken me to another direction of studies. I don’t know yet if I’ll really follow, but I’m opened to it.